So where are you from then? ....
This is a straight forward question and one that can be answered mostly with a one word answer with either the name of a country or place name. However when I get asked this question I never know how to answer as it is such a loaded question for me...
You see my father was in the armed forces we moved often and did not have one childhood home.
I was born in Oxford, my parents were only there for a short while when they moved further up to the North of England. We then moved to Cyprus, once that posting was finished we moved back to England to another army residence before my parents bought a house, this was in my mothers home town where she grew up, we were there for a year before we headed to Germany or rather West Germany as it was known then, before heading back to England where we moved twice before I moved to my own place.
The other thing that comes with moving around is different accents or lack of a local dialect. This was another barrier for 'belonging', you see if you do not speak with a local accent it is obvious you are not from that particular place. I did not have a specific accent, also my parents do not come from the same place, my father is Scottish my mother is English so they have different accents and home towns.
So after being singled out throughout my teen years for not speaking like a local, I then at the tender age of 19 married and relocated to South Africa, a country with several languages and local dialects.
Once again I was singled out due to my 'accent' the one I apparently didn't have. As the next 30 years was spent between South Africa and England I got use to being asked 'so where are you from'? but it didn't mean I could answer any easier,unfortunately some people were so rude and unkind because I spoke differently and was from a different place, this happened in South Africa and England.
Eventually my accent took on South Africanisims as Durban became my 'home' but when I was in England I was now seen as a foreigner despite being born there.
England did not feel like home, and South Africa has sadly stopped becoming my home. Personally I feel like I don't belong anywhere and now I live in Scotland my 5th country of residence and my 35th home. I am still struggling to answer the question 'so where are you from' ?
So there I was in post birthday glow, planning a shopping and spa day thanks to my wonderful generous family and friends, when I was rudely interrupted by my phone ringing. I was suspicious as it was showing not 1 but 2 numbers on the screen so I ignored it, this happened a few times throughout the day when I gave in and answered, it was Barclays Fraud Squad,it appears I have been a victim of hacking, as another human without any conscious has had a spending spree on my behalf.
I do not use my credit card lightly, it's soul purpose is to buy me a flight to my son who lives in a distant land, So I use it minimally; back in my day you used cold hard cash for your purchases and it was your own not stolen from someone else. Cheques were considered modern, for a while this was the way to buy things. Online shopping was frowned upon when it first became prevalent, you were setting yourself up for a fall if you shopped this way.
I have a sensible head on my shoulders I check my bank statements, I don't spend without knowing what I have, unfortunately I have been in poor financial health for a while, which makes this situation all the more serious. The fraud squad tell me they are investigating, but it's not that simple, when were my details compromised, did I make a foolish purchase, and what if the bank says I need to pay.
What sort of a person sits at a computer and decides to steal from someone else? Hacking is met with a certain amount of admiration as they have broke the system, movies portray hacking as clever, look at War Games, a young man hacks the school system to improve his grades and nearly starts world war 3. I know someone who did this in a prestige school, they didn't start world war 3 but it was a scandal in the local community for a while.
Mission Impossible, Golden Eye, the Matrix (never got that movie) and Die Hard 4.0 to name just a few, the plots and the art of hacking is always seen as good regardless of the ethical or moral value,I just wish Bruce Willis could help me with my predicament.
Turning 50 seems to be a significant event as I have recently found out. It started a few months before the actual day with people asking how I was going to 'celebrate' this epic achievement of reaching my 50th year.
There are many preconceptions about being 50, the biggest is your sudden capacity to be incapable of most things because after all being 50 is so old apparently.
The NHS make you feel older by sending you a bowel screening kit and appointments for various health tests, not a bad thing at all but rather a not so subtle reminder that now your 50 your internal organs are a lot more susceptible to all sorts of undesirable conditions.
Personally I don't feel any different, more an awareness of the age I now am, I did celebrate my birthday, it takes longer to recover admittedly but turning 50 has not reduced my capacity to party or the want of wanting to, but I'm not in that much of a hurry to do it again, I much prefer the feeling of sobriety, long gone are the days of turning up to work on a motor bike after a hectic weekend bike rally, or serious partying and planning for a 'hair of the dog' after work.
The general feedback I have had is that do not look like I have turned 50 and it is said in absolute astonishment, yet again another preconceived notion, It seems that '50' suddenly turns you into a grey haired podgy human in need of a walking stick specs and hearing aid,! Ok I admit I have the specs, that probably is the oldest thing about me my eyes have not aged well, and now I have 2 pairs of specs, reading and distant vision.
I am rarely with out a pair of specs on my head and yet I will still try and read something with out them as it is a mission to fish my glasses out of my bag or go upstairs and get them as I left them on the bedside table so I could read or watch tv in bed!
When I think of most of the people who I know that are 50+ none of us fit the 'old' idea of what a 50 year old looks like. We may have smattering of grey hair, the odd ache and twinge, sight and hearing not super sharp but we all still look pretty dam good.
What I have seen of some of the younger generation some of them will be lucky to reach 50.
I was born in 1963 Britain, clearly I don't remember it I was just born, but I do know that it was the year where Britain experienced one of the coldest winters ever on record, JFK was assassinated The great train robbery took place, there was a political scandal called The Profumo affair, (i guess some things don't change)! and there was a band called The Beatles that became very famous.
But for me life was a straight forward affair or so I was lead to believe, you went to school, then got a job, if you were privileged you went on to higher education, then work, if you were lucky you would get married have children, buy a home, enjoy a holiday once or twice a year, save for you 'old age' and live reasonably ever after and hopefully happy too.
Technology has had a massive impact on how we live our lives, and so much of it being invented in my adult years, it may have helped in a lot of ways but life is very complicated now. I have lived in Britain and overseas and it has got much harder to do both in my later trips than my earlier ones.
In many respects I have already been written off, I am currently unemployed despite my life experience and good skill set. There is much more hardship around than I have ever seen,and I do worry about my own future.
I am the youngest I will ever be and at my age I realise that being 'over the hill' is better than being under it, The best thing about turning 50 is it's a great excuse to do or not to do! I can just say 'but I'm 50 now I can do that' or 'what do you expect at my age'!
